Polyamory vs Polygamy vs Polyandry: What’s the Difference?

People often conflate polyamory with practices such as polygamy or polyandry, but they couldn’t be more different. So, what is the difference between these practices? Polyamory vs polygamy vs polyandry.

Polyamory, polygamy, and polyandry all sound so similar, it’s not surprising they get confused. Though, the only true similarity they share is having relationships with multiple people. However, you’ll soon learn just how different polyamory is from polygamy and polyandry.

Polygamy and polyandry both involve marriage to more than one person, whereas polyamory doesn’t have to include marriage at all, although it can. Polyamory is centred around loving and maintaining relationships with multiple people.

As someone who was once polyamorous, it drove me mad how often people would confuse these terms. Polygamy is certainly not something I want to be attributed to, and if you don’t already know, you’ll soon understand why.

This post is all about polyamory vs polygamy vs polyandry!

 

What is Polyamory?

First and foremost, let’s discuss polyamory. Polyamory is the practice of being open to having multiple loving and committed partnerships. Love is always at the forefront of polyamory, which is something many people often misinterpret about the relationship style.

It’s not the same as an open relationship, which centers around casual relationships with other people. While someone who’s poly may also choose to have casual connections, it’s not the purpose of the relationship style. Many asexual people find great joy in being polyamorous and having the ability to build relationships without any sexual expectations. Knowing their partner is free to explore in their other connections can take a huge weight off their shoulders.

The purpose of polyamory is to remain open to possibilities, it allows for a freedom that most relationship styles don’t. It’s for this reason that people are often drawn to it. Polyamory is built around boundaries rather than intrinsic rules. In monogamy, it’s often assumed what is and isn’t okay in a partnership, but in polyamory, it’s much more open for you to define.

 

Related Post: What is a Polyamorous Relationship?

 

What is Polygamy?

Polygamy, on the other hand, is when someone is married to more than one spouse. The most common type of polygamy is polygyny, which is when a man has more than one wife.

Polygamy is most often associated with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (LDS), also known as the Mormon church. In 1852 it was made an official part of their church doctrine. The practice was then made illegal in the U.S. in 1882 and was abandoned by the church in 1890. However, it is still practiced today by some fundamentalist groups.

 

What is Polyandry?

Polyandry is another, less common, type of polygamy. It is when a woman has more than one husband. Polyandry is less common in the U.S. but is sometimes practiced in places such as India, Asia, Tibet, and South America.

 

 

Polyamory vs Polygamy vs Polyandry: What’s the Difference?

 

Gender

Polygamy is almost entirely heterosexual. It’s a person of one gender who is married to more than one person of the opposite gender. Almost always a man with multiple wives. This carries with it an implicit sense of misogyny. It creates a huge power imbalance when the man can have multiple partnerships but the women involved can’t.

In polyamory, it’s incredibly common for people to date multiple different genders and all partners involved can form other partnerships. Polyamory is known for being feminist. More often than not, it’s women who introduce their partners to this relationship style.

 

Religion

As stated earlier, polygamy is largely tied to religious organizations. It’s tied to the Mormon church and some Muslim communities. Its association with religion is often meant to put men in a place of power over women.

Polyamory, on the other hand, doesn’t have any religious association and is chosen freely by those who wish to practice it for a myriad of reasons. These reasons include freedom, liberation, sexual exploration, attraction to people or genders outside their current partnership, or a desire to love more than one person.

 

History

Polygamy has been around since the beginning of marriage. It has a vast history being detailed as far back as the old testament.

Polyamory, however, is a fairly new concept. The term was invented in 1990 by Morning Glory Zell-Ravenheart. Polyamory was formed based on women’s empowerment, anti-capitalistic views, and the sexual revolution. It was designed in opposition to traditionalist viewpoints that kept men in power.

 

Marriage

Polygamy is all about marriage, a traditional union historically entered into for various reasons, such as financial security, love, ownership, status, or practicality. The point is, there can be many reasons people marry that aren’t love and polygyny puts men in the perfect position to feel they have power and ownership over their wives.

Polyamory, on the other hand, doesn’t have to include marriage at all. It’s about dating and forming loving relationships with multiple people. Often if someone polyamorous chooses to marry, it’s just one person. Though, there are cases where this can simply to due to the legality of marrying multiple people. However, even in marriage polyamorous people continue to date and pursue other connections. This maintains their freedom and autonomy within the boundaries of their current relationship(s).

Polyamorous people who practice relationship anarchy may choose not to marry any of their partners, as they don’t want to impose a hierarchy on their relationships.

 

Related Post: What is Relationship Anarchy & How Can You Apply It?

 

Legality

As polygamy is illegal in many places, most of the marriages involved aren’t legally binding. Polygamy is legal in certain places, such as northern Africa and the Middle East. In some places, it is legal but not criminalized, but it is both illegal and criminalized in the U.S. Even in places where polygamy is legal, often polygyny is legal and polyandry is not.

Polyamory, on the other hand, is entirely legal. As long there isn’t marriage to more than one person involved, it’s legal to have multiple romantic partnerships.

 

Ethicality 

Though these are all forms of non-monogamy, only polyamory can truly be considered ethical non-monogamy.

Polygamy is illegal in most countries and is widely discouraged. It creates unequal power imbalances and often puts men in a position of power over women.

Polyamory is perfectly legal and focuses on empowering women in their relationships. It allows everyone to be on equal footing and explore other relationships as they desire.

 

Related Post: What is Ethical Non-Monogamy & Why is It On the Rise?

 

As you can see, though they’re all types of non-monogamy, polyamory is vastly different from all forms of polygamy. Polyamory puts feminism at the forefront and works to empower women, whereas polygamy often only puts men in a greater position of power, making these forms of non-monogamy far more different than they are similar.

Post by Morgan Peters

 

Other Posts You May Like:

30 Polyamory Terms You Should Know!

What is a Polyamorous Relationship?

What is Ethical Non-Monogamy & Why is It On the Rise?

 

Sources:

Ohwovoriole, Toketemu. “What Does It Mean to Be Polygamous?” Verywell Mind, 10 Sept. 2022, www.verywellmind.com/what-is-polygamy-5207972.

“Polyandry.” Encyclopædia Britannica, www.britannica.com/topic/polyandry-marriage. Accessed 9 July 2023.

Dagha, Harshita. “Of Love and Lovers : Polygamy vs Polyamory.” Times of India Blog, 15 Oct. 2021, timesofindia.indiatimes.com/readersblog/harshita-dagha/of-love-and-lovers-polygamy-vs-polyamory-38262/.