There are so many unique polyamory terms it can be overwhelming trying to learn them all. So, what are the top 30 polyamory terms and what do they mean?
Trying to learn all the polyamory terms can feel like learning a new language. All that new terminology can be overwhelming. I know it was for me! There are words for things you wouldn’t even think to think of! But the poly community is vast and complicated. It requires a lot of unique terms to describe unique circumstances, and polyamory is just that!
This post is all about the top 30 polyamory terms.
The Top 30 Polyamory Terms
Polyamory
To start, what is polyamory? Polyamory is a subset of ethical non-monogamy. It’s being open to having more than one romantic and sexual partner. It translates from Latin to “many loves’.
Related Post: What is a Polyamorous Relationship?
Ethical or Consensual Non-Monogamy
Ethical, also known as consensual non-monogamy is an umbrella term for any relationship where one or all parties are open to having romantic or sexual relationships with others with the knowledge and consent of all.
Related Post: What is Ethical Non-Monogamy & Why is It on the Rise?
Hierarchical Polyamory
In Hierarchical Polyamory, one relationship is prioritized over the rest. There may be rules regarding what other partners can or cannot do together.
Non-Hierarchical Polyamory
Non-hierarchical polyamory is when all partners share equal importance and no one relationship is purposefully influenced by another.
Solo Polyamory
Solo polyamory refers to someone who wishes to conduct their relationships in such a way that they are not overly entwined or dependent on any of their partners. They usually prefer to live alone and keep finances separate.
Polycule
A polycule, also known as a constellation, is a network of people connected through romantic ties.
Primary Partner
In Hierarchical polyamory a primary partner is their priority over all other partnerships, other partners may be subject to rules set by this partnership.
Secondary Partner
Secondary partners are all other partners aside from the primary in a hierarchical relationship. They may be subject to rules established by the primary partnership.
Anchor Partner
An anchor partner is someone central to your life; someone you see as a rock or an anchor– a central force. It is the non-hierarchical equivalent of a primary partner.
Nesting Partner
A nesting partner is a partner you share a home with.
Comet
A comet is a partner, often long distance, who you don’t see often or keep in touch with all the time, but who you’re always happy to connect with on the rare occasions you do.
Metamour
A metamour, also known as meta, is your partner’s partner. It translates from Latin to “beyond love.”
Telemour
A telemour is a partner of your metamour other than your shared partner. It translates to “distant love.”
Compersion
Compersion refers to the happiness you experience seeing your partner happy with another. It’s considered the opposite of jealousy. Not every polyamorous person experiences compersion and that’s completely okay!
Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell
Don’t ask, don’t tell (DADT) refers to a relationship where both parties agree to see other people but not to talk about it. This is somewhat cautioned against and clauses should be made for sexual health and safety. It’s often done by formerly monogamous couples who may not be completely comfortable with the reality of their partner pursuing others.
New Relationship Energy
New relationship energy (NRE) refers to the excited nervous energy that comes with being in a new relationship. It’s similar to infatuation or limerence; the feeling you have before your love has settled to a more mature state.
Established Relationship Energy
Established relationship energy (ERE) refers to the comfortable safe feeling of a long-term relationship.
Kitchen Table Polyamory
Kitchen table polyamory refers to a style of polyamory where the integration of all romantic relationships is prioritized. Meta’s and telemours are encouraged to spend time together and form connections. The name stems from the idea of the polycule feeling comfortable all sitting around a kitchen table together.
Garden Party Polyamory
Garden party polyamory is a type of polyamory where polycules may get together a few times a year at special events or parties, but don’t make an effort to see each other often.
Parallel Polyamory
In Parallel polyamory relationships between metamours and telemours is not highly encouraged. People tend to keep more to their specific relationship(s) and don’t desire to form close connections with other members of the polycule.
Dyad
A dyad refers to any two people within a polycule dating each other.
Hinge
A hinge in polyamory refers to the shared partner between two people.
V
A “V” refers to a relationship network where two metamours are dating one person referred to as the hinge.
N
An “N” refers to a four-person relationship network where partner A and B are involved, partner B and C are involved, and C and D are involved. Also referred to as a “Z”.
Triad
A triad, also known as a throuple, is a group of three people all dating each other.
Quad
A quad is a four-person polycule where all members are romantically involved.
Unicorn
A unicorn is a bisexual woman who is willing to date both parties of an existing relationship. These tend to be rare, hence the name unicorn. Unicorns are generally subject to any rules the preexisting couple has set, disallowing them from being an equal member of the partnership.
Unicorn Hunters
Unicorn hunters are couples who specifically seek out a unicorn to add to their existing relationship. They generally carry a negative connotation as they are seeking more of an object to fill their desires than they are an actual third person to be in a relationship with.
Cowboy/Cowgirl
A cowboy or cowgirl refers to someone who acts as if they are open to polyamory while simultaneously trying to rope their polyamorous partner into being in a monogamous relationship with them.
Veto
A veto is a power granted to an existing couple to call off a new relationship that the other has recently begun. This is largely looked down upon as it takes autonomy away from the two people beginning the new relationship.
As you can see, polyamory is complex! There are so many new terms to learn and discover. Hopefully, you now have a good understanding of 30 new polyamory terms!
Post by Morgan Peters
Other Posts You May Like:
What is a Polyamorous Relationship?
What is Ethical Non-Monogamy & Why is It on the Rise?
Polyamory vs Polygamy vs Polyandry: What’s the Difference?
