Relationships and Communication: Why is Communication Important in a Relationship?

Relationships and communication go hand in hand. You can’t have a healthy partnership if you don’t communicate, so what is healthy communication in a relationship?

Communication is a vital part of any relationship, but many people can struggle with it. Your level of communication determines how you work through arguments and reach repair. If your communication skills aren’t up to par it can create more issues than it solves.

So, what is healthy communication in a relationship and what does it look like?

This post covers, why communication is important in a relationship, types of communication in a relationship, unhealthy communication in relationships, effective communication in relationships, and how to improve communication in a relationship.

This post is all about relationships and communication!

 

Why is Communication Important in a Relationship?

Communication is the backbone of any healthy relationship. It’s essential to navigate the ups and downs every relationship goes through. Communication is a necessary part of conflict resolution and helps you to build a stronger partnership.

Communication also allows you to let your needs and wants be known by your partner, because as much as you may wish they could read your mind they can’t. Directly stating your needs to your partner goes a long way in getting them met.

Communication is also a vital part of feeling close and connected to your partner. Without open communication, you’re likely to grow distant and feel disconnected. Most partnerships go through some phases with this but it’s important to know how to communicate your way back on track.

 

Types of Communication in a Relationship

According to researchers, there are four types of communication styles, assertive, passive, aggressive, and non-verbal. This is what each of these styles means:

 

1. Assertive Communication

Assertive communication is the most healthy and direct way of communicating. It involves stating your thoughts or needs clearly but in an understanding and compassionate way. It displays a desire for compromise and seeing both sides of an issue. This style of communication is clear and direct while still being open to your partner’s feelings and desires. Assertive communication stems from being clear on your needs and wanting them to be met in a way that is within your partner’s capacity.

 

2. Passive Communication

Passive communicators may have a hard time speaking up for their needs and tend to go along with whatever their partner wants. They may be fearful of conflict and prefer to give in rather than cause an argument. This can cause their needs to go unmet in relationships often resulting in them walking away rather than speaking up.

 

3. Aggressive Communication

Aggressive Communication involves being so caught up in your feelings or desires that you want them met regardless of how it makes your partner feel. People who communicate in this manner may have a low threshold for emotional discomfort and feel the need to solve conflicts immediately without consideration for how this affects their partner.

 

4. Non-Verbal Communication

Non-verbal communication involves conveying information through non-verbal mannerisms such as body language, eye contact, or facial expression. When used in a healthy, non-passive-aggressive way this can be a helpful way to share information. It can display your emotions, attitude, needs, and intentions, all without having to say a word.

 

Unhealthy Communication in Relationships

The ability to communicate healthily is essential to problem-solving in relationships, without it issues are only bound to get worse. So, what does unhealthy communication look like?

Unhealthy communication can look like:

• Interrupting your partner when they are speaking
• Acting passive-aggressively or not directly saying what you mean
• Holding grudges
• Avoiding issues or sweeping them under the rug
• Assuming your partner’s feelings rather than asking outright
• Repeatedly arguing over the same issue
• Name-calling
• Making threats or accusations
• Yelling or raising your voice
• Giving the silent treatment

Communicating in these ways is only bound to make issues worse. It’s also likely to make your partner feel like they have to walk on eggshells with you. Communicating healthily and effectively is crucial to allowing your partner to feel safe and at ease around you. So, if you notice yourself communicating in any of these unhealthy ways take note of it and work on improving your communication skills.

 

Effective Communication in Relationships

Effective communication allows you to address and solve issues. It’s paramount to a healthy, long-lasting relationship where both partners can feel safe and respected.

This is what effective communication looks like in relationships:

• Listen attentively when your partner speaks
• Listen to understand, rather than respond
• Validate their thoughts and feelings. This can involve repeating what was said back to them
• Ask questions rather than making assumptions
• Strive to understand even when their opinion is different from yours
• Speak calmly, don’t raise your voice, even when upset
• Use “I” statements to convey how you feel rather than focusing on what they did wrong
• Focus on the problem at hand, don’t bring up past grievances

Communicating in these ways is likely to make your partner feel safe and supported by you. It’s also likely to resolve issues much more quickly and effectively than unhealthy communication.

 

How to Improve Communication in a Relationship

Communicating effectively can be a challenging skill for many. Some people prefer to listen rather than speak, and communicating their needs or feelings can be difficult. However, communication is always a skill that can be learned and improved.

Here’s how to improve your communication in a relationship:

• Build your companionship. Spend time together doing shared activities, expressing your interests and desires with one another, and showing affection. This will increase your comfort with each other and your ability to express your needs.
• Share intimacy. Create more moments where can feel close and at ease with one another. Share in openness and vulnerability and communication will begin to flow more easily.
• Ask questions and get comfortable sharing your honest answers. Don’t be afraid to get vulnerable, the deeper the questions the better!
• Discuss issues that you do and don’t agree on and find common ground on those you don’t. Be sure to communicate effectively and listen to understand the other’s side.

 

As you can see, healthy communication is essential to working through hardships, building trust, and having a long-lasting relationship. Unhealthy communication, on the other hand, can work against these. Communication, however, is a skill that can always be improved.

 

By Morgan Peters

 

Other Posts You May Like:

Attachment Theory & the 4 Attachment Styles

Attachment Theory in Relationships – How Your Attachment Style Affects Your Relationships

Boundaries Meaning in Relationships

 

Sources:

“Relationships and Communication.” Better Health Channel, Department of Health & Human Services, 12 Oct. 2001, www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/relationships-and-communication.